If I Am Not Anxious, Does That Mean I Don’t Care?

The news is out of control lately. By lately, I mean at least the last 2 years. And by 2 years, I might actually mean the last 6 years. It seems we can go back however far we want and say “wow that’s wild” right?

There seem to be a whole variety of responses from numbing and dissociating to varying degrees, to going really hard into “I will do everything possible at every moment to make sure I don’t stop,” and everything in between. I want to spend some time talking about the latter.

Lately, I have seen a theme in folks I have been talking to: If I am not stressed about what’s happening, does that mean I don’t care? If I am not worrying about current events/myself/my family/friends/etc, does that mean I no longer hold care for these things? For some of us, the link between caring and feeling stressed or anxious runs deep.

Is there a way to uncouple anxiety and caring? I think so! I actually know so. It isn’t necessarily an easy process because for some of us there’s a fear that if I am not anxious or worrying, I will no longer be an effective advocate, effective worker, effective partner, effective friend. I’m here to propose an idea of exploring what caring can look like from a place of passion, of confidence, of deep love for others and the community that is not part of anxiety and stress.

I’d like you to imagine a time you felt really passionate. Maybe it was last time you watched Euphoria and you’re staunchly #TeamMaddy (for life, as of this writing). Maybe it was when you ate the best burrito of your LIFE and someone else disagreed with you. Maybe it was when you experienced feeling seen for the first time, or seeing someone clearly for the first time. It might be when you tuned into community activism. It can show up in so many ways. When you think about this experience, what do you notice? Do you notice anxiety partnered with it, or is there a difference?

I want us all to live alongside our passions. I want us all to care deeply. I believe to build a community where we can thrive and be safe, we have to care. I also believe it needs to be sustainable as much as we’re able to access, and a place to start can be exploring if our caring is maybe too good of friends with our anxiety.

If this sounds like you, let me know and we can talk about it. I also recommend you talk to a friend or trusted person if you would like to explore how these have been linked for you, or how you’ve overcome the lie that if I am not stressed, I must not care. We are made to experience our passions, not to stress about if it’s enough or if we’re doing it right, and not at the expense of our joy, of our peace, of all that makes our day to day meaningful.